


and when the flowers bloom again (maybe i'll forget you)

by orphan_account



Series: hireath [1]
Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I wrote this in the middle of the night, anyway bye lol, ex lovers au, i also cut my hair, oh yeah they're gay haha, ryujin is stuck on yeji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ryujin doesn't remember why it all came crashing down, but when the candle has melted down to its opposite end, there's no turning back.
Relationships: Hwang Yeji/Shin Ryujin
Series: hireath [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704898
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	and when the flowers bloom again (maybe i'll forget you)

"Ryujin?" Yeji called, that look on her face. That look when she has something to say but is hesitant. That look when she's afraid to hurt Ryujin. That look.

Ryujin was hesitant to answer. She was afraid of what the latter had to say. But, she answered nonetheless. "Yeah?"

The taller girl cleared her throat. For a while, she was hesitant, making Ryujin all the more nervous. But when the words left her mouth, Ryujin stood there frozen.

"Let's end this."

Ryujin couldn't think of what to say. There was nothing on her mind but one single question.  Why?

"Yeji, what- why?"

Ryujin can't remember her answer. All she could remember were the tears that flowed down her cheeks and the painful look on Yeji's face.

* * *

Ryujin doesn't know when it—her feelings for Yeji—started, but she sure as hell knows when  they ended. Why it did, though, that's something she can't answer.

The candle has melted down to its last drop. There's nothing left now.

Nothing.

The scent of vanilla and coffee surrounding her was of no help. All it did was remind her of... her.

Hwang Yeji.

Catlike eyes, beautiful smile, the girl had practically everything. She was never surprised when she had realized that she'd caught feelings for the latter, because honestly, who wouldn't?

Yeji's a good person. Not just that, but she's calming to be with. With her, everything felt so….easy, like everything was within arm's reach. The hardest things somehow felt simple with her. Even those that she'd once deemed as impossible had become tasks she could do within minutes.

Yeji was, somehow, like her support system.

What am I even doing?

Forget her, Ryujin.

Forget her.

* * *

Three months. It's been three months. Time has been moving awfully slowly. Those three months felt more like years. Maybe it was the sleepless nights—the countless hours that she had spent restless, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what went wrong.

Maybe there was already something wrong in the first place , she had once thought. Maybe the latter had never loved her at all. But that seemed impossible from what Ryujin could remember. Yeji was even more affectionate than she was. Those kisses she gave every time Ryujin felt down—they couldn't have been meaningless.

Maybe she was overthinking this. Maybe she was just too hung up on the girl. But, when exactly did Yeji fall out of love?

She tries and tries to get her mind off of her. She  tries.  But, everytime she hangs out with her friends to distract herself, there's always something that reminds her of the cat-eyed Hwang.

She passes by the café they used to go to everyday, she remembers her. She smells even just the littlest scent of vanilla, it reminds her of her. Yeji. Everything reminded her of Yeji. The scent of vanilla reminded her of those times when she would wrap her arms around her to make her feel better. The taste of strawberry reminded her of the latter's soft kisses. 

God, this is hard.

* * *

The two had known each other for years. They'd met in grade school, when Yeji saw Ryujin crying by the comfort rooms because she nearly got locked in by some kids a few years older than them.

Ever since that day, they were inseparable. Not a single day passed without the two interacting, even if it was just through texts.

In high school, Ryujin doesn't really know exactly when she did, but she realized that she'd caught feelings for her best friend, Yeji. It pained her, though. Yeji was dating this guy from the second section, and they looked happy. Yeah, Ryujin was glad that Yeji was happy, but what pained her was that  she herself  wasn't the reason for the girl's happiness.

She tried everything she could to lose her feelings for her. Hell, she even tried to avoid her. She failed, though. Everything, all of it, led back to Yeji. 

Isolating herself only led to her craving the girl's presence even more.

They were right. Distance  does  make the heart grow fonder.

Three months. Three fucking months. A quarter of a year. Wasted by pointless mourns over an ended relationship.

This is so stupid.

* * *

"Jinnie," Yeji called.

Ryujin's sobs didn't stop. They refused to stop. She cried 'til all her breath was gone. She didn't care anymore. This was fucking bullshit. Of all the things she could lose in life, why this? Why their relationship? Why her? Why Yeji?

"What?"

"Please, stop crying." Yeji begged, she was...holding back tears. Ryujin could see that. And with all the strength she had left, Ryujin smiled as Yeji said, "I'm sorry."

Ryujin stayed quiet.

"I can't- I can't explain for shit right now, but I promise I will one day. I promise." She said, wrapping her arms around the younger. Her touch was delicate. She held the latter like she was made of porcelain. "But if you forget me before I can finally explain all this, please don't forget this."

"Don't forget what?"

"You're worth every single sacrifice." She said, pressing her lips onto the latter's forehead as a tear fell from her eye.

* * *

"Hey, Ryu?" Chaeryeong's voice echoed from the kitchen of her condo unit.

"Yeah?"

"You've been sulking for hours. Come eat." 

"How 'bout no?" Ryujin jokes, earning a laugh from the latter.

Chaeryeong sighs. "Jesus, Ryujin. Get out of bed. You're as skinny as a fucking stick. Do you even  see  yourself? Go eat."

"Fine, fine."

"THANK GOD." Yuna's voice echoes out throughout the entire unit. The girl is loud, alright, but they'd gotten used to it. That's just the way she is. Besides, she's cute.

"Yuna, shut up or the neighbors are gonna report me again." Ryujin chuckles.

"No."

They all burst out into laughter.

"Can y'all visit me at work for once? It's boring." Yuna whined. She worked at the exact café that Ryujin and Yeji used to go to. So when Ryujin heard the girl's request, she froze. "Wait- fuck. Ryujin, I'm sorry. I-"

"No, no, no. It's fine. I'll visit you, I promise." Ryujin smiles. "I'm over it. Besides, you're more important than some ex."

"So, you free later?" Chaeryeong asked. "If you are, then we'll stop by right after I finish my shift at the museum."

"You know I haven't been doing anything for three whole months."

"So, later?"

"Yeah, later."

* * *

Ryujin was ready. She's finally going out after three whole months of locking herself in her room, doing nothing but sulking over you-know-what.

"Ryujin!" Chaeryeong called out from her black sedan. "Let's go?"

"Yeah!"

* * *

"Oh God, y'all really came." Yuna said, smiling ear to ear. Ryujin's heart melted. Seeing the youngest out of their friend group be so genuinely happy never failed to bring a smile to her face.

"Of course we did." Ryujin smiled.

"Do you want anything? It's on me." Yuna smiled. She had already told her boss that they might come over, and she practically loves them, so she obviously agreed on letting them get whatever they wanted.

"Are you sure?" Chaeryeong asked, scared that they might burden Yuna and her boss with this idea.

"Yeah. Miss Park already agreed. It's on the house!"

"God, thank Lesbian Jesus for your boss." Ryujin said jokingly. "I'll get an iced americano."

"Chaer, what are you getting?"

"Oh, the usual."

"Alright then. Go find a seat, 'kay? I'll talk to y'all soon. My shift's almost over."

A few minutes pass and Yuna is walking towards them. Her apron is off, which means her shift is over. "Alright! I'm done for the day. So, how have you been, Ryujin?"

Ryujin takes a while to answer that. Maybe it's because she's never really thought about herself these past few days, but hey, she has to think about it now. "Fine, I guess? I mean, I finally went out, so.."

"Hey, it's alright. You don't always have to know how you feel." Chaeryeong smiles.

Ryujin sighs thankfully.

Chaeryeong knew she couldn't answer that. She could see it in the way Ryujin hesitated and struggled to answer. It was evident. Yuna saw it all, too. But the youngest was too full of guilt to say anything.

"Hey, Ryu? Sorry about that." Yuna says anxiously, playing with the ends of her oversized tee, avoiding eye contact with Ryujin.

"Hey, it's alright. You did nothing wrong."

Yuna smiles.

The afternoon was spent fulfillingly. Not a single tear was shed, thankfully. They shared anecdotes of when they were still in high school, laughed at all the dumb things they used to do and all that. They had fun. And after three whole months of avoiding the outside world all because of a fucking break-up, Ryujin felt free. She felt happy. And it's not because of a partner, it's because she has Chaeryeong and Yuna by her side.

She feels guilty for ignoring them, for not letting them in for so long. Maybe love ruined her as a person, in a way. She can't explain it, but something about being alone made her feel...blissful.

"Alright, we'll be heading off now, Yuna. Your friend's picking you up, right?"

"Yup! I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

* * *

They decided on walking back to the condo. It was still kind of bright out, anyway, and Ryujin had missed the smell of the pretty much polluted air of the city. This part of it, though, smelled amazing. It was surrounded in trees and plants. It felt like a forest, but safer.

The two shared a few laughs along the way, making the walk all the more enjoyable. Sure, the walk would have been calming if it were silent, but Chaeryeong's soft voice calmed her down, too.

"So, do you think you-" 

Chaeryeong was cut off.

"Fuck."

"What?"

Chaeryeong turned her head to see what Ryujin's eyes were on, and—well, fuck. Ryujin could only stare. Her head was empty. There she was, walking towards the opposite direction they were. Alone. She looked...down.

But as if she could feel Ryujin's eyes on her, she looked up, locking eyes with her.

A heartbeat.

"Ryujin?"

"Yeji."

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooooo i'm alive lol
> 
> i wrote this while listening to 'as time goes' by jinsoul from loona! (if you didn't know that she's in loona) i felt the need to write something angsty today, so i did. it's 00:00 as i write these notes, so i need to hurry up.
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed.
> 
> also, cliffhanger haha! :D


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